ish Ratings has initiated a review into the Loch Ness Monster, a fabled Scottish creature that has often been discussed but whose existence has never been proven, following a recent sighting by trawler skipper Humza Yousaf.
Author Archives: Rating Analyst
Fish Ratings Withdraws Rating for Non-existent Tuna
Fish Ratings has withdrawn its ‘CCC’ rating of a batch of Non-existent Tuna sold by the former fishmonger Swiss Toni as all of the outstanding liabilities and claims relating to it have been settled, notwithstanding the fact that the rated fish does not exist and never did.
Fish Ratings Places Cantonese Steamed Tilapia on Negative Watch But Open to Proposals
Fish Ratings has placed Cantonese Steamed Tilapia’s ‘BB-‘ rating on Negative Watch after poor reviews from bloggers on WeChat and Weibo but could be persuaded not to downgrade the fish, perhaps, if a mutually beneficial agreement could be reached, if you know what we mean.
Fish Ratings Upgrades Predatory Trumpetfish to ‘BBB+’ on Latest Accusations of Deceptive Behaviour
ish Ratings has upgraded Trumpetfish’s senior rating to ‘BBB+’ from ‘BBB’ with a Positive Outlook after reviewing the latest research into the fish’s immoral and duplicitous behavior, which may actually improve its chances of re-election, uh, we mean survival.
Fish Ratings Arbitrarily Downgrades American Shad to ‘AA+’ from ‘AAA’; Outlook Stable
Fish Ratings has arbitrarily downgraded the American Shad to ‘AA+’ from ‘AAA’ for its own amusement.
Fish Ratings Assigns Iceland’s Fresh Batch of 28 Breaded Fish Fingers ‘B+(EXP)’
Fish Ratings has assigned Iceland’s new delivery of packets of 28 Breaded Fish Fingers an expected rating of ‘B+(EXP)’. The rating is aligned with its existing stock. The new batch will partly replace packets that have been in the freezers since September 2017 and have a use-by date in May 2025.
Fish Ratings Unable to Rate Juvenile Sterlets Released into Kama River by Uralkali
Fish Ratings is unable to rate tens of thousands of juvenile Sterlets that have been released into the Kama River in the Perm Region of Russia by PJSC Uralkali, the potash fertilizer producer, due to sanctions.
Fish Ratings Affirms Nicola Sturgeon at ‘BBB-‘ after Release without Charge
Fish Ratings has affirmed Nicola Sturgeon’s Long-Term Rating at ‘BBB-‘ after she was released without charge by police in Scotland. She remains one of the most impressive politicians in Europe who are simultaneously also fish.
Prime and non-prime UK RMBF: A handy guide
Fish Ratings is restating its definitions of prime and non-conforming UK River and Marine-Based Fish (RMBF) to address recent misunderstandings concerning the use of these labels.
The Failure of SVB and Signature Bank Has Little Impact on Deep Sea Fish
The failure of SVB Financial Group represented the largest bank failure in the U.S. since the financial crisis. Signature Bank has also failed. We have examined the implications for species of fish that live in the briny deep, miles down below the ocean’s surface, where even the sun’s rays do not penetrate.
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