Fish Ratings – New York – 10 August 2023: Fish Ratings has upgraded Trumpetfish’s senior rating to ‘BBB+’ from ‘BBB’ with a Positive Outlook after reviewing the latest research into the fish’s immoral and duplicitous behavior, which may actually improve its chances of re-election, uh, we mean survival.
A study published in Current Biology on August 7 describes the way the Trumpetfish sneaks up on prey such as Damselfish (‘BB+sf’) by hiding behind innocuous Parrotfish (‘A’, Stable) until it is within attacking distance.
“When you’re a Trumpetfish, they let you do it. You can do anything,” said Salmon Baguette, one of the authors of the paper.
A New York Times write-up compared the Trumpetfish’s behavior to that of a Hunter (Unrated) hiding behind a so-called Stalking Horse (Unrated) when approaching Ducks (Unrated), but this is irrelevant to our analysis since Stalking Horses and Ducks, not being fish, are not covered under our methodology. Nor, indeed, are Hunters, Biden or otherwise.
The Current Biology paper is just the latest charge of deceptive behaviour levelled at the Trumpetfish. But with each new allegation, the fish actually shoots up in the polls or, rather, the food-chain, which could result in further positive rating actions.
At the same time, Fish Ratings has affirmed Trumpetfish’s junior rating at ‘B+’ (Negative) since it is deeply subordinated to the senior fish.
Photo by Ahmed Abdul Rahman (CC BY-SA 4.0)